The One at Asian Hawaii- Day One

For the last 4 days, I’ve been surrounded by coconut trees and the beach. There’s never a winter in Hainan, it’s like Hawaii- but Asian style. Hainan is really beautiful, and there’s so much to do! But none of the hotels I stayed at had the internet, so I could post up anything! So get ready for a long ass post. =D 

Day One 

I woke up at 6 for breakfast at 7 where my Dad and I met our tour guide and also our tour group. Everyone spoke mandarin. Nobody except the tour guide and my dad could understand me. My dad knows how to speak Cantonese, mandarin, Vietnamese, Hainan dialect, and he even claims he can speak English (only very fobby-ish though). So when people start talking to me, I either point to my dad and smile, and he explains I have no idea what they are talking about, then they further their conversation, looking at me once in a while (even though I have no idea what they’re are saying, I can still tell they’re talking about me =T), or I smile and starts talking in English, they always have the same reaction- ... O_O! If I want to push it a bit further I would go on and say “I’m sorry, but I have an erection, excuse me”, then walk away with a little chuckle. LOL!

The first day was jam packed. There was so much stuff to do. I soon realised that my whole tour was stuffed full. The first place we went to was a temple where I discovered my dad and I had the same sign, Horse, and we were destined for popularity. Oh yes, I am going to be president of the Cool Club. =D

But then I looked over at this: 

 

Cynthia? Elegant? HAH!

 

& my brother is definitely not a deep thinker. Far from it. ... Maybe I won’t be president, with that video on YouTube, it might not even be possible. T^T.

We then got on the bus to the next destination. But before that, someone came running towards our tour group with a tray of key chains with photos attached to them. I was like tourists vultures also exist in Hainan but then I looked closer at the photos & THERE WAS A PHOTO OF MY DAD! I mean I know my dad’s family originated from Hainan, but come one, he couldn’t be a celebrity, right?

Later I found out that these stalkerish vultures were everywhere! Finding any excuse to take your photo and making you buy it for money. They didn’t just come in key chains, they also had badges, just plainly laminated and more. It was kinda creepy at first but then it got annoying. I didn’t want to buy any of them, because they looked like paparazzi snap shots of you in your worse moment, but I didn’t want them to have those pictures of me either.

The Asian side of me won, I didn’t but any.

Then we rode down a river. Kinda like what you see in Venice, but Hainan style- which means instead of a beautiful boat, I got a plank of wood with little wooden chairs stapled on it, with a little Asian man singing Asian songs. =D

And the vultures strikes again. They came in a noisy speed boat, ruining the scene of the quiet ride. This time, I took a picture of them. Hah, how do you like it now?

 

We then arrived at Hainan ecological sightseeing park palms.

I didn’t get much photos of it cause some old lady started screaming at me for taking photos. I thought maybe it was a religious or tribal thing, cause the place was like a re-enactment of the tribal Hainan people. But it turns out that they had their own photographers, and they wanted to make more money. =T

Afterwards we headed down to Taiwan village scenic spot, where they greeted us with flowers. =)

 

But took them away after they got the snap shot they wanted. =T

At the Taiwan scenic tour when went to “Grandmother’s Home” and had a taste of their food and wine.

The Alpine Paradise was next thing on the agenda. We got to wear this cool hat and a funky necklace that kept falling off me.

 

 

We watched a performance and later got up for a dance. Actually it was more like holding hands and running in a circle. Well in my dad’s case it was walking, so my arms now feel a little longer.

The Beach was next.

Dad and I didn’t bring any beach wear so we went and got ourselves a coconut and enjoyed the view, which marks the end of day one. =)

So jealous much, Cynthia?

The One with a Bodyguard

You know you’re in Guang Zhou, China when:

• You play a new version of Dodgem Cars every time you cross the road, where you’re the target on the pedestrian crossing and the cars speeds up towards you, even when the lights are green for you to walk.
• Even if the lights are red, the cars will still keep on driving.
• The police aren’t the law on the roads, military soldiers are. (their cars have a different style of number plates, and even the police are scared of them)
• There’s a massive line of cars parked near the airport, all with their emergency lights on, because they don’t want to pay for parking fees, so they wait for the call to drive into the airport for pickup.
• There’s an advertisement on every surface of the city, even on the handrails on the subway.
• There the milk is so watered down, all you taste is funky and the yogurt is drunk through a straw.
• In the early morning, or late afternoon, retirees go to the park to dance, sing and play with swords.
• The people use their local park as their own backyard, growing their own vegetables, cutting the banana tree’s leaves (for wrapping food) and digging up their own watering well.
• All the old people know how to use the internet for gambling. (I find it so impressive that my aunt and uncle is able to use the computer and even more when they showed me how they surf the internet and type words in Chinese, I mean my dad starts screaming thinking the computer broke down with the windows screen saver comes on)
• Even the train tickets look like gambling chips.
• The cents are in notes. (When I see a note with a number 5 on it, I assume it means 5 dollars. A bus ticket costs 2 dollars, so when I hopped on the bus, and put the bill in the box, I was waiting for 3 bucks change. My aunt says they don’t believe in change but later on when I gave her back the rest of the notes (she gave me 4), she started laughing. I only paid the bus driver 50 cents.)
• If you’re nice and let an old lady go in before you, you’ll never get in. Everybody will push in before you.
• Nothings for free.
• At restaurants there wouldn’t be a box of tissues for you to use, but a packet of tissues that will cost you a dollar.
• At supermarkets and shops, a plastic shopping bag will also cost you a dollar.
• People always how their bag tightly in public and anyone who walks in their direction is suspected as a petty thief.
• There’s no motorbikes on the roads, because they are now banned- people used the as a tool for snatching purses. (My aunt told me that it’s usually a two man job, one drives whilst another slices the handles of the bags with a knife and snatches it. One time, the thief missed her friend’s bag and slit her arm instead, and drove off. Leaving her friend with a massive cut on her arm and since her friend still had her phone; she called the ambulance and the police, and waited til they arrived so she could faint.)
• You see 6 people on one bike.
• In Yum Cha, the people there don’t push a trolley full of food to your table; you have to go to them.
• People smoke inside buildings, like restaurants at their table and put their cigarettes out but stomping on it on the floor.
• There’s always a constant fog, and the sky is always cloudy. (it’s so ironic that the Chinese flag is full of stars whilst I haven’t seen a single star yet. The moon is barely visible at night.)
  

I haven’t been able to post for a couple of days because I’ve been so tired. My cousins have been taking to all the shopping malls and streets in Guang Zhou. I haven’t been able to buy much because it’s either very cheap but bad quality or good quality but very expensive. My dad on the other hand has been in a shopping spree mode. He’s been buying everything. Both my cousins are guys, so it’s quite awkward for me to be shopping with 3 guys. Very awkward actually. But my cousins won’t let me go into shops by myself. He said something about me getting kidnapped cause I look like a kid. I’m an adult thank you very much. But he has made it his duty to be my “body guard”.

Since it’s been a few days, I’m going to show you something awesome, as a little bribe so you’ll forgive me. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Modern Toilet! The most awesome-est restaurant on earth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 This was my meal. My dad looked at it and then said to me “Jessica, wash your face before you eat!”
LOL!! Get it?! The plate looks like a basin? Wash your face? HAHAHAHA! 

 

 

Man, I couldn’t stop laughing every time the waitress brought a new dish out. Everything tasted delicious despite its appearance. I had so much fun! =D

The only disappointing thing was that its toilets were just holes in the floor. I mean come one. You have toilets as seats but not in the bathroom. I told my cousins to bring one of the “seats” to the toilet. But they where bolted to the ground. LOL

Well I’m in Hainan Island right now, which is a southern island of China. I’ll be posting about my tour which will start tomorrow. I’m currently staying at Haikou Tower Hotel, which isn’t as nice as the hotel in Beijing, but I’ll only be here for the night. =D I’ll be moving to many different hotels during my stay in the Hainan Island. Fingers crossed the next one will be nicer.

So jealous much, Cynthia?

P.S. Jay Chou’s face is plastered all over the supermarket. On chip packets, biscuits, and even drinks.
--.- --- ..- / .- .-. . / .- .-- . ... --- -- .
I am awesome in Morse Code.

The One where it isn’t Fog

Most of the people on the tour left for the next city, but my dad and I, and another family had another day here in Beijing. My dad thought, since the tour left, the buffet breakfast wouldn’t be open, so we had room service. I’d never thought I’d ever have the luxury of room service. Only in China I guess.

Afterward me and my dad took a walk outside to kill time and we found out that KFC here has delivery! =O That’s awesome! We were supposed to meet in the lobby at 11:30. We got back to the hotel with a few minutes to spare, and met with our tour guide Alan, but the other family was nowhere in sight. Half an hour pass and finally they return from their shopping trip. Instead of apologising, they strolled in, and walked straight to their hotel room to get ready. Inconsiderate people. Acting like it was okay for me to wait for them, wasting my precious time and money.

When they were finally ready, we headed to this park where you climb 4 flights of stairs (yes I know, more stairs, my legs know this torture very well now), and your suppose to have a really awesome view of the forbidden city. But this is what I got:

It’s not fog, its smog.

Which is really such a shame, it would have been such a nice view.

After almost tumbling down the stairs, we head of to lunch by bike. I have no idea what’s the bike thing is called, but to me it’s like a modern day chariot, where the horse is replaced by a bike.

 

When rode through the back streets of Beijing, and arrived at someone’s house for lunch. It was quite weird at first, but honestly, the home cooked food is the best.

 

Then we got driven to the silk market, when I learnt how silk is made. It’s quite gross. Silk worms. And we were shown around the shop. The silk blankets and clothing are so soft and pretty.

After the silk market, we headed off to see the Imperial College. 

This is where the lecturer used to sit to teach the students. The Chinese really knew how to show authority, aye? Look at it. It’s like a throne. It’s very different from UNSW. LOL!

 

 

College student applicants would hang these red planks around a statute of Confucius to wish them luck in their exams.

After this we were suppose to head off to watch a Kung Fu Show, but the other family would rather go to the markets instead. They haven’t had enough shopping! It was completely ridiculous. Throughout the whole tour, they would drag the group behind because they were inside souvenir shops, or buying for street vendors. So we went to the silk street instead.

 

We went to another market, which is exactly like this, except here, the shop assistants ignore you if your Asian, cause they earn more money ripping off foreigners. So my dad and I headed off to McDonalds buy dinner. It’s so cheap here. A whole meal would cost you approximately $2.50!

 

I love trying foreign Maccas, they have a different things on their menu. In Beijing Maccas, they have chocolate pie! I didn’t eat any of the food until I got back to the hotel so I could webcam to Cynthia whilst eating the chocolate pie! =D

But before that we were suppose to meet up at 5:30pm, but yet again I found myself waiting for that family for half an hour. WTF!? It was cold and I was pissed. Not happy with them.

That was the end of my Beijing tour. I’m heading off to Guang Zhou next. Staying with family and going on a shopping spree. I don’t know if I’m going to have access to internet then, if I don’t it’ll be a few days til the next post.

Favourite picture of the day (taken by Cynthia):

Don’t I make an awesome Marilyn Monroe?

So jealous much, Cynthia?

The One who conquered the Great Wall ...barely

The tour left this morning at 8am for the Long Di Superior Jade Gallery, where we had a guide show us how jade sculptures were made and how you can tell whether a jade is real or not. & since most Asians have some sort of jade jewellery, they all start thrusting them at the guide to authenticate it. Afterwards there was a whole floor where you can purchase different types of jade sculptures, jewellery or art. Apparently it’s very cheap at that place.

Then we headed for the Great Wall of China. My Dad and I were determined to climb to the peak of the Great Wall which is where the red building is on the top.

  

 

It took us an hour to climb up and down. It costs me 2 legs, 2 lungs and almost a heart. It was so cold, the air was freezing, but if I covered my face, I couldn’t breathe.

 This picture almost killed me.

No even kidding. The stairs were very uneven and covered with slippery ice. When we finally got to the top my Dad stared to scream our, we’re heroes! LOL! He was like, if you climb to the top, you’re a hero. ... I didn’t know the Great Wall gives your super powers? My dad was like imagine what it must have been for them to actually build the Great Wall, and think of how many people have died for it.

Dear Great Wall,
Enough people have died for you. You won’t take me down. I’m too awesome.

Love Jessica.

After Lunch, we headed to the Summer Palace at sunset on a winter’s day, where the Emperor would stay in the summer. LOL! There’s a man-made lake and hill. The lake was frozen. That’s how cold it is. Lakes actually freeze. That’s something you’ll never see in Sydney.

 

 

 

Then we headed to the Pearl Market, where a guide open a clam and showed us where the pearls come from. The clam she opened has 36 pearls inside! =O I thought clams had 1 pearl each! So 36 was like woah!

We watched an acrobatic show afterwards and then we had dinner at A Fun Ti Culture. I highly recommend you go there if you ever have the chance. The food was great and the entertainment was so awesome! It was so fun! There were belly dancers, musicians, some “ballet” guy (but I think his a stripper), audience games, lucky draws, table top dancing and most importantly “sexy girls” (that’s what they called them)!

 

The Hosts

The Sexy Girls

 

Games

And that’s the end of the day. My legs are so tired, I don’t think I’ll be able to walk to the bed. But it was so worth it.

Favourite picture of the day:

My Dad and I taking a break on the stairs of the Great Wall of China. Doesn’t he look like the abominable snow man? LOL

So jealous much, Cynthia?

The One with No Toilet Paper- Happy Birthday Daniel Duong

Today was the first day of my Beijing Tour. It was filled with many tourists’ destinations and activities, that I’m so tired right now. My tour group has 29 people (which is apparently small) and surprisingly I’m not the youngest! And though my wish of a cute guy to be in my group came true, he’s only 5, but oh so very adorable! =3! Here’s a group photo:

The bus left at 7:30am for Tiananmen Square. You had to go past a security check to get in, but once you’re in, your targeted by people who “offer” (more like grab onto you and won’t let go until you buy something) your tourist souvenir items. Tiananmen Square is surrounded by pillars, there are 56 of them and each of the pillars represents a Chinese Provence. In the centre of Tiananmen Square there is the Monument of the People’s Heroes and across the road is Chairman Mao’s Memorial Hall.

 

 

Subsequently, we travelled through an underground tunnel to reach the Forbidden City (or otherwise as known as the Palace Museum).

This is where people get their heads chopped off as punishment, back in the old days.

 

The Forbidden City is so big! It’s absolutely breathtaking. We saw where the emperor used to sleep, his garden, his throne, the place he went to study and so much more. But apparently I’ve only seen about 30% of it! Which I thought was ridiculous, why would you need such a big space? The tour guide said “Well, he had approximately 3000 concubines.”

... Horny much? He probably overdosed on Viagra or something? I mean 3000!?

After walking around for a couple of hours, I was busting to go to the bathroom, but there was a huge line. When I finally reached the front of the line, I see symbols on each of the doors. On closer inspection, I found that they were indicating that inside the cubicle was either a hole in the ground or an actual toilet seat. There were only 2 of the toilet seat and I absolutely refuse to pee in a hole in the ground! It took me forever to finally get inside the cubicle, only to find that they do not offer toilet paper! Come on! What the hell? How cheap can you get? I had to go outside to get tissues and go through the long ass line again!

Next on the agenda was this medicine facility place, where some old guy comes and tells you whether you’re sick or not. The diagnosis is free, so my Dad had a go. The “doctor” told him to buy 1200 bucks worth of medicine ($200AUD), and my Dad was like ... No. LOL! So we walked out and went to the shops. We walked past some Night Food stores.

 

Starfish kebab, beetle or slimy thing on a stick anyone? Eww..

Sanlintun Yashow Clothing Market was our next stop. It’s fake goods galore. There are no prices on any of the items; it’s all based on your haggling skills.

• If you speak English to them, they’ll start the prices up very high.
• If you speak Cantonese to them, the prices will be a bit lower.
• If you speak Mandarin to them, the prices will be even lower.
• If you speak with a Beijing accent, the prices will start at the lowest start up price. 

Apparently after haggling with them, if you don’t buy from them, they will scream at you. When I heard that I was too afraid to approach any of the stores, so I just browsed around. The best person to come here with is my Mum. She’s the haggling queen. But man, I saw this poor lady being grabbed by 5 shop assistants at one time and she struggled to walk away to get out of their grasps. It was quite amusing.

After Dinner we went to the Olympic Park, which marked the end of a tiring first day of the tour.

The Bird’s Nest

Aquatic Centre (Bubbles)

Favourite Picture of the Day:

Doesn’t my Dad remind you of this?

A Lion! LOL! HAHAHA! =D

So jealous much, Cynthia?

The One where the Fish Died

After trying and failing to get in contact with my brother this morning, I took a nap since I didn’t get any sleep on the plane. There wasn’t any leg room, and the lady behind me had her legs pressed up on the back of my chair, stopping me from tilting it back. So I sat upright the whole night. Not happy. But Sex and the City kept me company. LOVE IT! =D! They had that movie, What happens in Vegas, Atonement, Kung Fu Panda, and Madagascar playing. Awesome selection of movies.

When I woke up, my dad suggested we go exploring Beijing ourselves. Our Beijing tour starts tomorrow, but it doesn’t include the Temple of Heaven, so that’s where we went.

It’s honestly so cold here, that my nose was about to fall off. (My mum was like “...who’s that girl? She’s stealing your spotlight” LOL)

When I got back, my brother finally returned my messages, and I webcamed with my mum and told her about my day. My dad is usually the one who feeds my dog, Max and the fish, now that responsibility has been passed down to my brother whilst we’re travelling. During our conversation my brother told me a fish has died. Only one night has passed and a fish has already died. LOL! I laughed so hard when he told me. I swear by the time we get back, there won’t be any fish to come home to. But if Max isn’t there, I’m going to kill.

Tonight marks the end of my first day in Beijing, China (a long way from my Lovers); & this is what I’ve discovered:

• The Chinese drive on the wrong side of the road and don’t use seat belts.
• Even if you’re on the pedestrian crossing, and the man is flashing green, cars and buses will still try to run you over.
• People will come after you if you refuse to buy their goods. I was surrounded by five old ladies with them shoving shuttlecocks, soft toys and fans in my face. Scariest thing ever.
• They will laugh at you when you say thank you in English (maybe they think I’m Chinese and I was showing off my English skills?), but they’ll laugh at you even more when you say thank you in Mandarin with a funny accent. Maybe I’ll just not say thank you.
• The Chinese are perverted. There’s a HUGE window in the bathroom, so you can view from the bedroom. It’s nicely framed and everything. Thank god for the blinds.
• Haggling is not used to get the cheapest price, but the fairest. Apparently they mark up the prices, so only if you know how to haggle you can get the goods for a decent price.
• There are toilets that flush automatically. This scared the living shits out of me (PUN), but yeah, I didn’t know the toilet flushed by itself so when it did, I thought a monster was coming out to eat me.

I’ll leave you with a rare moment where my dad smiles (maybe because he has beer?), this is probably my favourite picture of the day:

So jealous much, Cynthia?

The One with All the Drama

Drama, drama, drama. I guess if there wasn’t any drama, then it’s wouldn’t be me.

I arrived at the airport at 7pm, thinking the baggage limit was 30kgs, as did my father. My bag was 31.5kg, whilst my dad was 27kg. Why was my bag so heavy? No, I did not bring my whole wardrobe, for some reason Asians love to bring abalone, Nougat lollies, and those sheep cream thingy that I have never used, overseas as gifts. They weigh a tonne! So when I got to the airport to check-in and I saw the 20kg baggage limit sign, I started to panic. What was I going to do? It’s embarrassing opening my suitcase and digging out stuff in front of everyone. But thank god, my suitcase when through fine, without any extra charges, just an orange sticker indicating it was heavy.

My flight left at 9pm, so after checking in, my family decided to look around duty-free, as you do in the airport. 8pm was coming up, and so my dad and I decided to part ways from my uncle, brother and mummy. Whilst we were lining up to go through the security check, there was a huge argument between a lady and the security guard in front of me and another between a man and another security guard behind me. I giggled my way through until I got through the metal detector, but my dad was stopped by the security and pulled aside. I had no idea what was going on, Border Security had already made me nervous enough, and now my dad was given a document for him to read. I was like ... what the hell? I thought he was being read he’s rights and going to be arrested. LOL! It turned out to be a random frisk search, but I swear, they pick out my dad because he looks like a threat. If I was working there, I’d probably pick him out too. LOL!

After we went through the security, we headed for the TRS (Tax Refund S..Service?) to get 10% back from my camera and then I looked at the time, it was 8:53pm! I was nowhere near my gate! 7 minutes til the plane takes off, my dad and I was sprinting through the airport to the gate which was so very far away. We got told off by the guards so bad! T^T. He was like “I was about to take your bags off the plane and won’t let you board the flight!” =OO Scared me! I didn’t bring my phone, so I don’t have the time. Which reminds me, do not send dirty text or call my number- you’ll get my brother.

When we boarded the plane, the walk way was so narrow that my carry on kept hitting everybody on the head. I think they hate me. T^T But lucky when I finally found my seat, which was all the way at the back of the plane, I saw the girl sitting next to me with the book “New Moon”. So I asked her if she watch the movie that was released yesterday, which she replied she had in the morning. We started talking about everything. Her name is Iris and she goes to USYD at the Lidcombe Campus. Hopefully I get to see her again. ... one day. I didn’t get her details because we got separated through customs.

She told me that during my stay in China, I wouldn’t be able to access sites such as Facebook, Twitter, or YouTube. =OOOO I was so shocked. I didn’t really care much for either of those sites, but I can’t log into my blogsite! I was like WTF?! So hopefully Alysse will be kind enough to update it for me.

I’m currently staying in the West International Trade Hotel, Beijing, China. It’s actually very pretty and I’m very impressed. =D!

So jealous much, Cynthia?